Thursday, June 22, 2006

You are one pathetic loser.

Hadyn has been reminding me lately that if I want to return to the “in crowd” (Wellington blogging) I am actually going to have to blog now and then. Its not as easy as it sounds though. I’m not that smart. I’m only funny when I’m drunk. And I’m actually quite boring. So, what to blog about…..

Um…

Yeah…

I guess I could… no. been done.

I looked over Hadyn’s blog (wow two pimpings in one blog Had, you OWE me) for some inspiration. I don’t have an ipod. So there goes that one. Politics? That would require some reading…. (long intake of breath) probably not gonna happen. Sports stories? Theres that annoying ‘reading’ thing again.

Ah World Cup.

Hooray. Well the Football world cup started about two weeks ago. It was highly anticipated by sports mad people the world over. And for good reason. Football is the beautiful game and this would be the best of the best putting on a show for a world wide TV audience of some 20 billion. But what some people looked forward to even more was the plethora of fantasy/picking/sweepstakes that would tumble down upon them like a massive avalanche. For a measly $2, $5, $10 or even $20 you could have your chance to pick the results of some 60 odd games, plus you’d pick a team out of a hat to win the competition overall. Offices all over the world ground to a shuddering halt as the office poindexter compiled a sweepstake sometimes of his or her own design but more often than not ripped off the internet.

Added to this is the wealth of online picking and fantasy football games. From the mighty to the meek.

I duly took part in about a half dozen of these competitions costing me $37 in total. I spread my bets too mixing up results and testing different hypothesis here and there. Here are my results

Competition

Team Name

Team picked to win World Cup

Cost

Current Standing

vs my buddies

Likely return

Premier league Fantasy Football

Monkey Mountain Fire

England

my soul

23,471 / 307,280 My best ranking.

none playing

an after-life-time of pain and suffering (OOS, RSI etc). My details are on some crazy foreign website now. Bugger. I’ll be bombarded by annoying emails for the rest of my days.

TVNZ Virtual Football

Micklack

Germany

Nil

27,325 / 41,905

10/13 including a bogus team I set up to be my fall guy, and he’s coming ahead of me!

Nil. In it for shits and giggles really.

Work Sweep & picking contest

Dom

Netherlands

$5

34 / 36 (and Geoff didn’t even make any guesses so that means im effectively 34 / 35

ditto

Small possibility with 3rd ranked Netherlands but, whatever. (cough) Chokers (cough).

Jon’s sweep upstairs

Dom

Sweden

$2 (A bargin)

No picks for this one, was just a sweep out of the hat.

Sweden qualified for the second round but will be roughly pounded from behind by the cruelly efficient Germans.

Mike’s picking contest

Rogan’s Heroes

Germany

$10

19 / 25

ditto

Nil. I waaaaay to far back. The best picks comp. lots of levels, but little reward in the later stages mean Dom will be watching someone else spend his ten bucks.

Yakka’s picking contest

Gibbs

N/A

$20

=31 / 51 I was 51st for a while

Ditto

Biggest possible return ($400 for winning) and massive points up for grabs in the later rounds. Trouble is, I over analyse every game, and an old mate Belly has cursed me forever with his “law of averages” logic. I swear if I hear anyone say that again I may just combust.

Well there’s the sad, sad story of me. Pretty pathetic really. I may as well have just gone right ahead and set fire to that 37 bucks and saved myself the jeers of my co-workers who have started smirking behind their hands and pointing (except for Tibor (the only guy behind me in the work sweep). And whats worse, is that I play the game, know all the players, all the teams, their histories, their form, their styles of play. And yet, Liz, who thinks Argentine striker Hernan Crespo, is some type of new South American breakfast wine, that Portuguese winger, Christiano Ronaldo “has a nice smile” and that Rio Ferdinand is the King of Spain, is kicking my arse. Conspiracy? Do they merely hide behind Such is life. Good luck Liz.

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